newbie guide: how to behave in a 5 man

As a newbie, you will notice that at times there are side dungeons you can participate with 4 other people with to gain better equipment and kill feircer foes. You may think this is done via teamwork, but in reality much more powerful forces are at work.

These forces can all be categorized under a single banner, called the "leet pwnage force". "leet pwnage" comes entirely from attitude. No amount of epic items or gameplay skill can duplicate it, which is very fortunate for newbies, since there is no grind attatched to it. Unfortunately, most newbies play the game without learning how to "pwn leet"ly, but fortunately for them, I have created a simple guide on the topic. Follow these steps and you'll be able to take on anything:

HOW TO LEET PWN IN 5-MANS

First of all, don't ever bother to use the LFG tool built in the game. Its for scrubs. The best way to get a group together is to use the LFG channel, spamming it with a macro full of acronyms "lf2m dps brd pst!!!!". At the same time, spam general chat with the macro, it doesn't matter what zone you are in.

When your group begins to form up, don't say anything. This game isnt about being social, its about killing things indiscriminately and proving to others how badass you are. You ever hear of a social badass? Neither have I.

Once you've zoned in, if it's a sub lvl 70 run, make sure everyone knows you have a lvl 70 main. If its a lvl 70 run, make sure everyone knows you have a main that farms Illidan, and that this is your alt. This will free you up from any blame of "not knowing how to play the game", while allowing to sling blame on your compatriots for not knowing how to do their job.

To expand upon this, make sure to inspect your teammates and comment that they are using the wrong equipment. Pick stats at random that they do not have enough of. Tell the healing paladin that he doesnt have enough agility, or that the Hunter doesnt have enough +healing, or that the Warrior needs more spell crit.

Before the first pull, if somone else is trying to mark the pull, attack the monsters before they can get it done and do a "/rw marks are for nubs, we can handle this!". If you are the party leader, refuse to hand it over to somone who repeatedly asks for it so they can mark the pull.

Make sure you take every opportunity to insult the progress of the group and make it clear that the only thing keeping this group alive is you. Especially if you're AOEing the CC on a non-AOE pull. The DPS will never be fast enough, the heals never soon enough, or the tank cant hold aggro enough for you. Remember: "lrn2play" is a term of endearment (unless somone is using it on you. what the fuck is their problem?).

If you wipe once, threaten to drop the party unless everyone else doesnt shape up. Wiping twice is grounds for dropping the party, or at least gives you full clearance to Ninja the next boss drop should you remain.

Remember that when rolling on items, its only the stats that matter. Not usefulness to the class. Feel free to roll on that leather item against the Rogue as a Warrior, or against the priest for that Robe because it looks good on your Hunter. Roll on items you arent even going to use and sell them.

At the end of a run, make sure to contact whatever guild leaders/officers you can of the people you ran with, and notify them of every mistake they made.




And that is how you "pwn leet"ly.